


How Many Godesses Does It Take To Defeat A Spider

by OneMagpie



Category: Hyperdimension Neptunia
Genre: Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19460725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneMagpie/pseuds/OneMagpie
Summary: In a sleepover at Planeptune, Blanc encounters an arachnid threat that she can't ignore.





	How Many Godesses Does It Take To Defeat A Spider

"I think I'll go to bed now." declared Blanc.

"Huh? But I know you stay up even later than me!" said Neptune, indignantly. Neptune had invited her over for a sleepover, and she had accepted, leaving the twins in the hands of Mina. 

"I've been working hard lately. Not that you'd understand." 

Neptune giggles at her jab, and she continues.

"The twins have been a handful recently as well, I haven't had the energy to stay up like I usually do."

"Awwwwwwwww..." Neptune was giving her best puppy-dog eyes. "But I wanted to stay up all night playing games with you Blanny!"

Blanc squinted at the use of "Blanny", and firmly said "Good night, Neptune."

Neptune sighed melodramatically. "Night-night then Blanny-blan. Oh, if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask Nepgear!"

"H-hey!" exclaimed Nepgear, who had been quiet until now, playing the game on the console they were seated around with an ear open. Neptune giggled cheekily again. Blanc stood, grabbed her bag, and set off for the basilicom's guest room.

When Blanc entered and turned the light on, she swung her bag onto the bed, and quickly scanned the room. As expected of a goddess' home, even Neptune's, it was impeccably clean and tidy, with a queen-sized bed, with matching end tables, a large wardrobe and dresser, and a computer desk that sat beside the large window, which had its purple curtains closed already. The furniture was white with purple accents, and all sleek and futuristic, in Planeptune's signature fashion. 

But then, she saw it. Despite the impossible standard of cleanliness, IT sat nestled in the far left corner of the room. Smaller than Blanc's own delicate hand, but with a presence far more powerful than most monsters Blanc had fought before, a simple cellar spider. It's long skinny legs were much longer than it's tiny body, which was of course much better than the big bulky spiders.

Blanc froze up. She stared at it for an uncomfortably long time, as if it were some supernatural monster capable of high-speed brutal murder as long as it wasn't looked at, like in those indie horror games.

\---

"Cute androids are the best!" argued Neptune. "Like this!" she brought up a picture of a blindfolded white-haired woman wearing a black dress with a short skirt, holding a katana, on her phone and showed it to Nepgear.

"No!" cried Nepgear. "You just like her because she's hot!"

Neptune grinned. "Mayyyyybe."

"A-anyway, robots and mechs are the best! Especially mechs because you can get in them and pilot them!" then Nepgear herself brought up an image of a first-person mech shooter game, with an impressively detailed cockpit.

Neptune giggled. "You wanna get inside a robot huh?" she teased with a lewd tone.

"N-Neptune!" exclaimed Nepgear, her hands covering her eyes in embarrassment. 

Neptune and Nepgear were startled by a thump, as Blanc sat down in her old seat.

"Woah Blanc, when did you get here? We didn't even see you come in!" asked Neptune.

"If you weren't so loud maybe you would have heard me." said Blanc. "I decided to stay up some more."

"Huh? But you were so set to go to bed!"

Blanc winced a little. "Do you have to end every sentence with an exclamation mark?"

"Yep!" shouted Neptune. "I'm the peppy, energetic main character!" she posed, proudly.

"But this story is focused on Blanc..." Nepgear interrupted.

"Nepgear!" gasped the loud purple girl. "You said something totally meta, I'm so proud of you!" she hugged Nepgear fiercely.

"Um, thanks..." said Nepgear, confused and squeezed. 

"They grow up so fast..." she wiped away a non-existent tear. "Does this mean my time is near an end? Is it time for Nepgear to replace me already?!" 

"That took a dark turn..." commented Blanc.

"N-no! I could never replace you, Sis!" now it was Nepgear's turn to commence the hugging, and so she did.

Blanc smirked. Neptune's antics usually annoyed her, but perhaps the slight sleepiness she felt allowed to enjoy them a bit tonight. It also seemed like she had managed to distract herself from the question of Blanc coming back.

"Oh yeah! How come you came back, Blanc? You really wanted to go to Blanny-beddy-byes!" 

Blanc scowled and her hands balled into tiny fists. "Don't call it that. I will seriously hit you."

"Ehehehe...." 

Damn that Neptune.

"Hmm… did Nepgear not clean it well enough?" guessed Neptune, to Nepgear's shock.

"You… could say that. Something like that." said Blanc, attempting to look aloof.

"Huh?!" Nepgear seemed even more shocked Blanc went along with it.

"Tut tut Nepgear!" teased Neptune. "You have to clean super good when we have guests over!"

"I did clean! I spent over an hour cleaning!" 

Neptune couldn't stop herself giggling over Nepgear. She hopped to her feet and pulled Nepgear off the couch, pointing in the general direction of the guest room and loudly exclaimed: "Let's go clean this room to Blanc's impossibly high standards!"

"Hey..." protested Blanc quietly, as Nep dragged Nepgear off on this new quest, with Blanc following at her own pace.

"So..." began Neptune when they were all in the guest room, "What seems to be the problem, oh honoured guest Blanc?"

Blanc wordlessly pointed to the spider corner.

"Ooh... Blanc's scared of spiders?"

"I am not scared!" yelled Blanc indignantly. Neptune giggled again.

"Okie dokie! All we have to do is squish this tiny-" Blanc grabbed Neptune's wrist as she went to move, and held her there, hard.

"Ow-ow-ow, what the heck Blanc! Do you have a grip strength of 70?! What gives?!" 

"Don't you dare kill it."

"Huh?"

"Don't kill it. Catch it and take it out." Blanc ordered, firmly.

"But it's just a bug!"

"I don't care. It's much smaller than us. It wouldn't be fair." she gave the purple-haired loon an extra squeeze, then let go.

Nep rubbed her wrist. "Fiiiiiine." 

\---

One trip to the kitchen later, and Nepgear was wielding a glass and a piece of paper.

"Why do I have to do it?!" she protested.

"Lil' sis needs that exp!" explained Nep in a way that made absolute sense to her.

Nepgear sighed. She knew there was no arguing. She put the glass over the spider, but it didn't move. 

"Um, sis... it's not moving..." Nepgear was stuck holding the glass awkwardly over the spider.

"You have to move the paper underneath it now." said Blanc. Nepgear gently pushed the sheet of Nep-printed paper under the glass, slowing as it got closer to it's legs.

"Um..."

"You have to gently touch it with the paper if it won't move." advised Blanc. Nepgear did so, and squeaked when the spider jumped from it's spot and started running around the glass in a panic.

"Quickly Nepgear! You gotta put it all the way under now!" cheered Neptune. "Now grab the whole thing! Gooooo Nepgear!"

Nepgear followed her sister's advice, and was now holding a glass of spider. Blanc rushed to the window, drawing the curtain and opening the window.

"Now throw it out the window."

"T-throw it out the Planeptune Tower window?!" 

"Do it now, or moths will come in." Fearful of the new potential of moth threat, Nepgear hurried over, holding the glass like a delicate artifact lifted from an ancient ruin, then chucking the confused arachnid out the window. Once it was confirmed evicted, Blanc heaved the window shut and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks guys..." said Blanc, feeling a little sheepish now.

"Don't mention it Blan-Blan!" said Nep.

"If you tell anyone about this I'll kill you."

Neptune just started laughing. 

"So why are you afraid of spiders that much Blanc?" asked Nepgear, genuinely.

"There aren't any spiders in Lowee since it's too cold for them, so I never have to think about them..."

"Ah... Planeptune is pretty cosy and warm huh?" 

Blanc nodded. "I'd like to sleep now, so..."

"You got it! Don't have any spidery dreams!" Blanc chased the annoying purple brat out of her room, and Nepgear followed her. 

"Good night Blanc!" beamed Nepgear. Blanc smiled and thanked her, then closed the door to get some much-needed sleep, feeling safe with the knowledge her room was now 100% spider-free.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


She didn’t check under the bed though, did she?


End file.
